Old People At Bus Stops Know More Than Books And The Internet Says New Study
2017-01-30
Anyone looking for information or advice would do well to avoid books, bypass the internet and shun so called experts, because a new study has revealed that old people at bus stops know more about everything than all of them. And they’re more than happy to share it.
Professor Norman Stubbs from The University Of South Maltby, who headed up the study, says that elderly people at bus stops know more about just about everything, but are particularly generous in sharing their knowledge of world and domestic politics, immigration and the shortcomings of various public bodies. “If you’re looking for information on what’s wrong with your local doctors surgery, and what needs to be done about it, for example, “ said the professor “all the information is to be had at a bus stop. – whether you want it or not. Refuse collection schedules, the hospital appointment system, and the ease with which all kinds of ne’er-do-wells and Johnny-come-latelies get rich from benefits, are all readily on tap while waiting for a No.130 to Brinsworth.”
Professor Stubbs says that people at bus stops have amassed their expertise through a combination of longevity, and having a lot of time on their hands to think deeply between episodes of Judge Rinder and Jeremy Kyle. “The only puzzle” he told us “is why with all this great expertise and knowledge, their seven or more decades on the planet have led them to a point where they spend their precious remaining days standing in the cold, boring strangers about gas bills, while waiting for public transport to take them to a shop offering two cans of beans for 20p. That could be our next research project.”
