Special Reader Launch Offer
2016-10-05
To celebrate the launch of The Rotherham Bugle we’ve arranged for ever reader to receive a FREE Mars Bar from any newsagent (and selected ironmongers) in the Rotherham area. To claim your free Mars Bar, simply pick up a standard sized bar (Bumper sized bars strictly excluded) and take it to the cashier. To prove you are a bona fida claimant, simply repeat the following phrase in a loud and deliberate voice:
“I have just blown the bugle and I claim my free Mars bar.”
You will then be acknowledged as a bona fida claimant and be free to take away your confectionery without cost. In the unlikely event that you find yourself being put in an armlock by a burly security guard while the cashier calls either the police, social services or the local health authority mental health unit, don’t be discouraged. Repeating the phrase with more volume and precision will do the trick, and have you munching on your free chocolate in no time.*
*While every effort has been made to ensure that every reader gets their free Mars Bar, The Rotherham Bugle cannot be held responsible for any disappointment, physical injury or public ridicule that any reader might suffer in pursuit of their free confectionery.
