Local Social Media Star Robbed
2016-10-07
A local social media celebrity was robbed of cash and possessions last week while on an overnight trip to a caravan site in Mablethorpe.
Kim Kanavan from Clifton was in the Lincolnshire seaside town after bagging a £5 a night offer out of The Sun newspaper and had tweeted about her good fortune to the 100+ followers of her Twitter account, which she uses to catalogue the trials and tribulations of sporting a huge shelf arse.
“That’s where I made my mistake” she told us, “I was targeted. I’d tweeted where my arse was going to be and a picture of 200 Benson & Hedges Kev had picked up in duty free coming back from Benidorm last week. They knew what they were after.”
Partner Kev North was at a nearby social club taking advantage of a five-pints-for-a-tenner offer, when the raiders struck in the early hours, escaping with the cigarettes and £9.50 the pair had saved up for some scratchcards. Kim slept through the ordeal, as did their Rottweiler guard dog Bob. The pair only became aware of the burglary when Kev woke up the next morning with a hangover, gasping for a fag.
“It’s taught me a valuable lesson”, said a tearful Kim, “There’s a huge price to pay for fame. Flaunt what you’ve got and it will come back to bite you on the arse. And I’ve got a lot of arse to bite.”
Lincolnshire police confirmed that they are investigating a reported break in at a mobile home in the town, but were doubtful this was a targeted attack. “It’s probably just local scrotes as usual.” A spokesman told us.
