Rotherham Great Grandmother Saves Government £42 Billion!
2016-10-31
An 86 year old great grandmother from Bramley was the toast of the town this week after coming up with an idea which looks set to save the country over £40 Billion pounds, and thousands of people from years of unnecessary upset and upheaval.
Until a couple of weeks ago, Doris Richards had only vaguely heard about the plans to run the HS2 rail route through the area, and it was only by chance that she was at a consultation meeting in Bramley last week, where the plans were being discussed. Doris takes up the story…
“The ball machine had jammed up at bingo” she told us “and so I was at a loose end. My daughter Sandra was going to this meeting and so I went along for a warm. Everyone was asking what’s in it for us and the bloke on the top table said we’d be able to get to London twenty minutes faster.”
Surprised onlookers say that it was at this point that Doris stood up and said “Instead of dicking everyone around and pissing all that money up the wall, why don’t we all just get the earlier train?”
The meeting broke up in disarray, with the stunned HS2 representatives admitting that this wasn’t an option they’d considered. The following day, several committee members resigned, and a few days later, Doris received a letter inviting her to join a government backed money saving ‘think tank’.
“I’ve got lots more ideas”, Doris told us between Body Pump classes “but most of them involve immigrants, gypsies and homosexuals, so I’m not sure how well they’re going to go down.”
