Bugle Publisher Has Prima Donna Style Hissy Fit
2016-11-08
The publisher of the world renowned Rotherham Bugle has had a right hissy fit this week after learning that the journals social media standing is more than a little bit crap.
The Big Enchilada, as he likes to be known, for reasons nobody has been able to figure out because he’s not big, not American and has no affinity with Mexican food, reacted with toddler-like fury this week when he learned the figures. Despite having attracted several thousand readers over the past month The Bugle has less than 60 friends and followers on Twitter and Facebook.
“Sixty!…” raged The Big E when we spoke to him in his luxury office overlooking Booth’s scrapyard, “Sixty! There are goldfish with more followers than that. I’ve had readers contact me to say they’ve peed themselves….literally urinated in their pants reading some of our articles. Is a goldfish going to give you damp underwear? I don’t think so. Well I suppose it might if you were carrying it home from the fair on a bus and it went over a bump, but that’s not the point. This is making us look like Billy-No-Mates and it’s got to stop.”
The publisher is threatening to run some incredibly dull and tedious articles in the coming days unless the number of friends and followers on social media improves. “I’ve got a real humdinger about a bloke at the Stag who keeps his car in a garage “ he told us “and if you think that sounds boring, well it’s just the start.”
Regular readers can help protect The Bugle from drowning in a sea of tedium by joining us on Twitter or Facebook. They can also help by sharing any articles they found mildly entertaining via their social media accounts. There are buttons for that task at the bottom of every article.
We’ll leave the final word with The Big Enchilada, “Readers face a stark choice – carry on as you are and read about a new market stall that’s opened selling batteries, or spread the word, make us look popular and get more stories about fat people, flatulence and the sexual peccadilloes of local dignitaries. It’s up to you.”
