Study Reveals That ‘Bubbly’ Women Get On Men’s Nipple Ends
2016-12-03
A new study has discovered that ‘bubbly’ women get right on men’s tits. The study, published in Gullible Medical Magazine found that men of a conventional sexual orientation would rather have their scrotum used for cross stitch practice than spend any time in the company of a woman described as bubbly, or indeed vivacious.
Tim Bradshaw from East Dene spoke for a lot of ordinary men we talked to “Bubbly is just another word for sodding irritating, isn’t it?” he said. “Every bubbly woman I’ve ever met has assaulted me with emotionally incontinent vacuous prattle that quickly descended in to a cess pit of self pitying melancholy at the sniff of a glass of Pinot Grigio. It’s like being on a rollercoaster but without the good bits.”
Professor Henrik Larsen from The University Of Scunthorpe who carried out the study, warned men to be on their guard against any women described as bubbly, particularly if they have a propensity to use phrases like ‘I am who I am and I’m not going to change for anyone’ “Who they tend to be, “ said Professor Larson, “is the sort of shite-spouters you’d like to drown slowly in a bucket of pig innards, but you can’t do that so you just have to smile and pretend they’re not sapping your very life force to the point where the prospect of death seems like a blessed release.”
We tried to speak to a bubbly woman for her view, but a spokesperson said she was too busy effervescing to return our call.
