The Rotherham Bugle

An appeal has gone out to find celebrities in the Rotherham area after it emerged that the only famous people from the town are either The Chuckle Brothers or dead.

Karen Young from Rotherham Borough  Council  Cultural Affairs Department says she’s done some research and drawn a blank. “There’s that bloke out of Life On Mars and the bass player in Muse” she said “but they’re not even household names in their own houses. And then there’s that baldy football umpire. I forget his name. Even The Chuckle Brothers aren’t really called Chuckle I’ve discovered. They’re living a lie. I don’t know how they sleep at night.”

Karen is calling for more famous people in Rotherham to come forward. “In a town of this size, there have to be famous people hiding away somewhere. “ she said “Maybe they just don’t like publicity or the limelight, which is a bit of a drawback if you’re a famous person, but somebody knows where they are.”

The council first made the appeal a couple of weeks ago but are wary of some of the early suggestions made. They have already rejected claims that Archbishop Desmond Tutu and The Dalai Lama were born in Kimberworth as fanciful. “That’s just stupid,” said Ms Young “although we haven’t totally dismissed a tip off that  Hugh Grant was brought up  in Canklow. We’re checking  the old South Grove school records as we speak.”

As The Bugle went to press, there were unconfirmed reports of comedian Eddie Izzard being  spotted in Boots in the town centre, but investigations revealed it was our junior reporters Auntie Maureen out shopping for depilatory products.