Ice Hockey Crowds Smell Like a 14 Year Old Boys Bedroom Researchers Reveal
2016-12-22
An ice hockey crowd smells just like a 14 year old boys skanky bedroom it has emerged.
Researchers from The Institute of Sports Aromanology matched the unique niff after taking their noses to a series of Sheffield Steelers games, and then went on to explain exactly how it came about.
“An Ice hockey crowd is predominantly made up of the sort of pubescent hoody-wearing, bum-fluff-chinned, soap-dodging, gobby nerds, who would normally be getting trouser stirrings playing ‘Call Of Duty’ “ said Dr Peter Puck, who headed up the study “They’d get a serious kicking if they mouthed off at a football match like that, but they find sanctuary in an ice hockey crowd where they live out hard man fantasies and their nerdishness provides a curious counterpoint to the blood and thunder on the ice.”
Nathan Wells from Brinsworth who is a fan of the Steelers and 14 years old like most other fans, seemed to confirm what Dr Puck is saying. “Yeah, them visiting players would be in serious shit if me and my mates got down on to the ice. Lucky for them they have the screens to protect them. I’m a yellow belt in judo and my mates done boxing.”
A spokesman for the Sheffield Steelers confirmed that most of their fans are 14 year old boys, which explains both the unique aroma in the stadium, and the reason why none of them are able to stand to applaud the cheerleaders.
