Time To Banish The Bounty. Sign Our Online Petition Today.
2017-01-11
In a scene played out across homes across the country this week, Martin Coles from Whiston was anticipating a small glimmer of joy amidst the post-Christmas gloom, when he remembered there was still an unfinished box of Celebrations in the kitchen cupboard. But anticipation turned to despair as he removed the lid to reveal that the half a dozen remaining chocolates all had a familiar blue wrapper. “I was absolutely gutted” he told us, “the only chockies left were bleedin’ bastard bollocking Bounties…and I don’t usually swear.”
An undercover investigation by The Rotherham Bugle has revealed that the coconut confection is the last in the box in 9 out of 10 packs of Celebrations. Most of the time they’re either foisted off on work colleagues, fed to family pets or dumped with the box. Occasionally they’re eaten at parties by people too drunk to know or care what they’re consuming.
“It’s an outrage,” said Martin, still smarting from the disappointment when we spoke to him this week. “They could put some more Malteser ones in there – everybody likes the Malteser ones, or maybe some Galaxy. Lovely. But no – they fob us off with a pile of coconut crap that nobody wants. It needs to stop.”
Here at the Bugle we agree with him. The Bounty is the black sheep of the family, the runt of the litter and the one bad apple in the barrel all rolled into one. And so we’ve decided to use our position as the Number One online publication with the word Bugle in the title in the entire borough, to do something about it. We’ve set up an online petition called Banish The Bounty, which you can access here. We’re doing this now, so that the makers Mars can get their act together before next Christmas so that it doesn’t become another festive fiasco on the chocolate front.
Click through and sign the petition now, while you’re thinking about it. Let’s work together to banish the Bounty from Celebrations once and for all.
Sign the petition here
