The Rotherham Bugle

Filming of cutting edge BBC show Countryfile was dramatically suspended last night after one of the presenters was accused of parking illegally. Previously well respected veteran broadcaster, John Craven, was issued with a fixed penalty parking ticket, after leaving his Porsche  outside a chip shop in Leeds on Tuesday evening.

A clearly upset Craven was forthright when we caught up with him outside the caravan he shares with his six dogs three cats and wife. “I only went in for a Ginsters and curry sauce,” he told us, “The flat hatted twat must have been hiding round the corner.  I bet I was only in there for  a minute, but the sneaky bastard had slapped the ticket on  the Porker and pissed off by the time I got out. It looks like because of him, people are going to have to do without seeing me armpit deep in cows fanny for the foreseeable. I hope he’s pleased with himself.”

A BBC spokesperson said: “These are serious allegations which Mr Craven has strenuously denied. The BBC is not making any judgement but until these matters are resolved we think it only right and proper that filming be suspended.”