Kardashian In Crisis As Arse Announces Plans To Go Solo
2017-12-14
It looked like a partnership made in heaven, but the social media world was in shock last night after Kim Kardashian’s arse announced plans to leave to pursue solo projects. In a twitter statement the gargantuan glutes said that while they’d enjoyed their time with Kim, it was time to move on and make a fresh start.
It’s a move that will surprise many, but insiders say the decision to go it alone has been coming for a while. “The arse has felt that it’s been carrying the partnership for some time without getting due credit or treatment.” one of them told us “ Reports of discovering Izal in the Kardashian mansion restrooms have come from more than one source. The arse sees this this is an opportunity to grab the limelight, some better quality bog paper, and to show what it’s made of.”
Although specific plans are being kept tightly under wraps, rumours that the arse has already secured work as a template for a mantelpiece, a unique postcard storage solution and a luxury bike rack have been circulating for some time. A book deal is also on the cards, provisionally titled ‘The Kim and I…Sitting On A Fortune’
The future looks less certain for Kardashian “The arse has been Morecambe to her Wise from the off,” the insider told the Bugle, “so who knows if she can survive alone. It’s a real bummer.”
