Football World In Shock As Sheffield Wednesday Appoint Bloke Out Of Sparks As New Manager
2018-01-17
The football world was in shock last night after it emerged that Championship side Sheffield Wednesday have appointed Ron Mael from 1970’s band Sparks as first team manager.
When the new boss was announced last week, he was named as Jos Luhukay, a Dutchman with experience in the Bundesliga in Germany. But a Bugle investigation has revealed that ‘Luhukay’ didn’t exist until ten days ago when club lackeys put together a fictitious online profile. We have been unable to find anyone who had heard of the supposed Dutchman before his appointment, and the photographic evidence shows the new manager is clearly the Sparks keyboard player.
Meanwhile our investigation overseas has revealed that Wednesday chairman, Dejphon Chansiri was a huge childhood fan of Sparks and just 5 years ago hired the band in his native Thailand to perform their 1974 hit ‘This Town Ain’t Big Enough For Both Of Us’ at a tuna canning symposium in an attempt to intimidate a rival in the pre-packed fish paste market.
A club insider who asked not to be named, confirmed our findings as he made preparations for life in League One “Its true, it’s the bloke out of Sparks” he said “He knows nothing about football, but neither do the players, so it could work well. We’re keeping an open mind. “
The Bugle understand this may not be the clubs last foray into the pop market of the 1970’s and early 80’s.. Plans are said to be well advanced to bring in 6’7″ fifty-nine year old Fish out of Marillion who it’s hoped will to be a quicker and more nimble replacement for the lumbering Atdhe Nuhiu.
