The Rotherham Bugle

Inspired by British foreign secretary Boris Johnson’s proposal of a super-bridge linking the UK with France, US President Donald Trump has pledged to bring to fruition, what he says is a much more ambitious project to build a sea bridge linking the United States and Canada. “It’s going to be beautiful,” he said “and the Canadians are going to pay for it.”

The plan has baffled many experts who have pointed to the fact that the border between the two countries doesn’t seem to lend itself to a project of this type.

Andrew Method, an insider in the  Trump administration helped throw some light on the mystery this morning. “When Mr Trump saw the European plan he wanted to go one better.” he explained.  “Unfortunately, he isn’t totally familiar with the  geography of the region and at the moment thinks that Canada is separated from the US by a continuous stretch of water, having once visited  Michigan and assumed the lake there was a sea that spanned the entire continent. At some point someone may have to tell him otherwise, but for now we’re hoping he gets distracted by some immigrants or a twitter-spat with a soap actress, and forgets about it.”

Katie Lank, a spokesperson for the Canadian government confirmed that they were aware of the plans and had been in touch with the White House “We’ve sent the president a children’s atlas with all land masses and seas clearly marked” she said. “We’re hoping there’s someone there who can show him the pictures and read out the words.”

For some time now, International strategists have been puzzled by Trump’s obsession with the security of the  Mexican border to the south, while ignoring the Canadian border to the north. That may now  be set to change once the absence of a South Canadian Sea has been revealed to him.