Rotherham Man Accused Of Cultural Appropriation After Ending Night Face Down In A Skip
2018-02-24
A Rotherham man whose night out ended with him being arrested at three o clock in the morning after being found face down and comatose in a builders skip, has been accused of cultural appropriation by Scottish First Minister, Nicola Sturgeon.
Ray Vaughan, 47, from Maltby had drunk 10 pints of strong lager and half a dozen whiskies, before stopping off for some deep fried shit at the type of cafe that would go out of business were it not for drunks. After staggering into the street he hurled incoherent abuse at passers-by, before starting a fight with a man he perceived to be “looking at him funny.” With a blackened eye and swollen lip he decided to walk home, but only got as far as Wellgate before collapsing in the skip, from where he was arrested.
In a statement Sturgeon said that the night out Vaughan had enjoyed was deeply ingrained in Scottish culture “Everything from the excessive drinking to the artery-blocking food, through to the incoherent abuse and senseless violence, is etched in our very being” she said “And ending the night face down in a skip has been part of who we are for generations. Cultural appropriation on this scale is an abomination and we shall be seeking an apology.”
Vaughan was confused and unrepentant when we caught up with him as he did his weekly shop in Lidl while drinking from a can of Tenants Extra. “I don’t know what she’s on about,” he said, “it’s not as if I went out in a ginger wig or owt.”
