Barnsley Gene Pool More Of A ‘Kitchen Spill’ Says Expert
2018-02-26
Almost the entire population of Barnsley is descended from a single pair of breeding Geordies whose horse and cart broke down in a snowstorm somewhere around what is now Darton, in the 1820’s a local historian has revealed.
Historical records show that the pair, who were travelling to London, became stranded in the area without coats, and were taken in by a local inn keeper. A detailed search of ancestral records reveals that 90% of births within what is now the Borough of Barnsley can be traced back to this pair, who got warm by the Inn fire and couldn’t be arsed to move on. They have been named as Isiah and Esme Dingle.
“It explains a lot”, said Ivor Cockspurt from the Yorkshire branch of the Royal Genealogical Society, “It’s well known that locals don’t stray too far in seeking out a breeding partner, and the only people who leave Barnsley are homosexuals, who move to Leeds or London, and relatively clever folk with an IQ of over 75, who move away to teach in Doncaster. But until now, we’ve never really understood the extent of the familial links.” When asked about the impact of incomers to the area, Mr Cockspurt was somewhat dismissive “Are you having a laugh?” he said, “Have you ever heard of anyone moving to Barnsley?”
We tried to get reaction from some local people, but in the absence of an interpreter, and with their continued insistence on replacing vowels in commonly used words with random alternatives, it was impossible to discern anything that could be understood by the wider population.
