Norwegian Man Dies Laughing As First Visit To UK Coincides With Arrival Of ‘Beast From The East’
2018-02-27
A Norwegian man died at Heathrow airport today after a laughing fit developed into terminal breathing difficulties, as his first visit to the UK coincided with the arrival of the so-called Beast From The East’. He was one of several overseas visitors including a pensioner from Canada, a middle aged man from Austria and a woman from Moscow who suffered laughter-induced medical episodes after experiencing Britain’s reaction to a bit of snow for the first time.
“You call that snow?” said Hans Handel from the Tyrol, still wiping the tears from his cheeks. “There’s barely enough to cover a decent dog turd.” Ludmilla Krakova from Moscow was equally incredulous “Where are my spare knickers, get me my spare knickers, has anyone got a towel?” she screached as she clutched her sides and disappeared into a nearby toilet. The middle-aged Canadian man who didn’t give his name because he was unable to speak, was still being attended to by paramedics as our reporter left.
As The Bugle went to press, UK citizens were being warned not to leave the house, to stock up on essential provisions, and to make preparations comparable to those that might precede a full-blown nuclear attack.
