Barnsley Beer Sales Set To Plunge As Viagra Made Available Over The Counter
2018-03-27
There was both relief and concern in the south Yorkshire town of Barnsley this afternoon, with the news that Viagra will soon be available over the counter. Local women were delighted because for the first time, they’ll be able to abandon a whole series of measures currently employed to attract the attention of local studs, including daily shaving, weekly bathing and maintaining a body mass index on the right side of 40.
One local woman who asked not to be named said, “It’s a bloody relief to be honest. Up to now we’ve been relying on plenty of slap and cheap perfume to prompt a bit of trouser action. This is really going to take the pressure off and we can let ourselves go a bit.”
Not everyone is happy about the development though. “This will hit our beer sales big time.” said local landlord Timothy Taylor as he broke up a fight between what appeared to be two transvestite prop forwards, but turned out to be two local ‘hotties’. “Blokes comes in here to get tanked up before they do the deed. It’s a delicate balancing act between a lowering of standards and a loss of consciousness. I understand these Viagra tablets are only £5 each. You’d need to spend at least three times that on ale to have anything like the same effect.”
The Viagra will be available in pharmacies, but it doesn’t mean men will buy it. The £5 price tag may be a sticking point for some. “Five quid!” exclaimed one middle aged man we spoke to as his wife went to the bar. “For five quid and a bag of chips you can get a blowey off a local lass with some of her own teeth round here. I know what I’ll be spending my money on.”
