Corbyn Attempts To Counter Anti-Semitism Claims By Haggling Over New Duffel Coat
2018-03-27
As the crisis deepened in the Labour party regarding anti-Semitism and stereotyping yesterday, leader Jeremy Corbyn attempted to display his affiliation with the Jewish people by haggling over a new duffel coat. According to a shocked assistant in Millets, Corbyn exclaimed “How much? You’re having my eyes out!” before making a counter offer at half the ticket price. Apparently, it was the first time anyone of any religious denomination had attempted to knock any price down in Millets, let alone one on an item costing less than £20.
Later is the day, at a packed press conference, a smartly dressed Corbyn responded to claims of anti-Semitism by saying “That’s just ridiculous. Does it look like this suit was cut by a Muslim?” The conference was cut short after Corbyn announced he was late for a violin lesson, only stopping on the way out to establish that he was distantly related by marriage to a reporter from the Daily Mirror.
“I think Jeremy has proved today beyond any doubt that he has no time for any anti sematic views or negative Jewish stereotypes.” said a spokesperson. “It’s time to move on.”
