Theresa May Denies Affair With Ron Jeremy
2018-03-28
Downing Street has denied allegations that Theresa May had a brief liaison in a hotel room with an adult-film actor.
Ron Jeremy, star of films such as Hung Wakenstein and The Great American Squirt Off, gave details about the alleged 2006 affair during an interview on US TV.
“She invited me to her hotel room and it was clear from the off what she wanted.” he said “She was already in her undercrackers when I got there. I wasn’t attracted to her, but went through with it anyway.”
Mr Jeremy 65, said in the interview, aired on Sunday night that he had accepted $130,000 in ‘hush money’ from Mrs May’s lawyer just before the 2017 election. “I’d been threatened by some of her people” he said “and so I took the cash.”
Although Mrs May denies any of this took place, her lawyers accept that the money did change hands to protect her reputation. Ron Jeremy, for his part, says he is prepared to describe her genitals if necessary to prove his case. “I won’t go into details here” he said “but they were quite distinctive, and I’ve seen plenty. Suffice to say I no longer eat anything from a late night food cart.”
As the Bugle went to press, and despite the allegations, Mrs May was steamrollering on as if nothing had happened – again.
* Since going to press we have been contacted by representatives of Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn. Having looked into the background of Ron Jeremy and discovered him to be of Jewish/Russian descent, Mr Corbyn has asked us to make clear that although he didn’t, he definitely would have.
