I’d Stab A Burglar For Fun Says Entire Internet
2018-04-07
The case of a 78 year old pensioner who stabbed a burglar to death in his home this week, has led gobshites up and down the country into an unseemly competition to claim the most grizzly thing they’d do to an intruder.
All are agreed on one thing – that they would tackle the intruder head on, and on no account simply make a noise to scare him off and call the police – even if that was an option.
“My home is my castle” wrote one forum user who calls himself Ninjaman on Mumsnet “If anyone so much as sets foot on my drive I’ll unleash fire and fury. I’ll shoot them, stab them and then chop their heads off and mount it on my gatepost as a warning to others. You have to protect your family. No mercy.”
The Bugle tracked down Ninjaman to a bedsit in a run-down area of Milton Keynes. Nobody answered the door when we called earlier this week although our reporter says she thought she could hear the sound of someone locking themselves in a bathroom. Neighbours said it is the home of 25 year old Nigel Potts, an accounts clerk and keen gamer who lives there alone.”
“He’s a nice enough lad, ” said one neighbour who asked not to be named “but a bit timid. He handed his phone and wallet over to a bloke in the street last week. The bloke had only stopped him to ask directions.”
