Theresa May Threatens To ‘Shit In Meghan Markel’s Handbag’ Over Royal Wedding Snub
2018-04-12
A clearly furious Theresa May was overheard threatening to defecate in the handbag of Prince Harry’s fiancé Meghan Markel last night, after the row over the royal wedding invitations escalated.
Mrs May was said to be apoplectic after discovering that she’s not even invited to the night do. A Number 10 insider said “Who doesn’t get invited to the buffet and disco, seriously? She was looking forward to a bit of scotch egg and a party sausage or two followed by a Macarena with the Duke Of Edinburgh, so this has come as a blow. We haven’t seen her like this since she pissed in Boris Johnson’s shoes after a row over NHS funding. He still thinks it was the Downing Street cat.”
Meanwhile Buckingham Palace have been at pains to point out that Barrack Obama’s omission from the guest list has nothing to do with him being a black American, but have confirmed that Donald Trump’s absence has everything to do with him being an orange twat.
