As the Commonwealth Games on Australia’s Gold Coast drew to a close today, athletes from 52 nations let out a collective howl of anguish as they realised all they now have to look forward to is a trip to bastard Birmingham. The West Midlands homage to concrete will host the 2022 games in 4 years time,

  A Rotherham cyclist was rushed to Rotherham District General Hospital yesterday after his left bollock fell off while riding over a particularly rough piece of road in Thurcroft. Dave Mamillman from Wickersley says it’s the third time the ball has become detached and fallen out through his bib shorts in the last two years.