Britain Hotter Than Somewhere Else, Daily Express Reveals
2018-04-19
In an expose that is likely to shock it’s readers, The Daily Express has revealed that Britain was hotter than somewhere else that is normally quite warm yesterday. This comes right on the heals of events one day last winter when the same paper revealed to its readers that Britain was colder than somewhere that is normally pretty cold.
An insider at the newspaper said, “These stories are very tricky to get. First you have to wait until it’s unusually warm here, and then…and this is the tricky bit…you have to go on the internet and find somewhere else that’s known for being hot, but isn’t quite as hot on that particular day. Without going into the technicalities, which may be beyond a small regional rag, if it’s colder than normal here, we just do the whole thing in reverse. It can sometimes take minutes.”
Our chief reporter decided to mix it with the big boys and come up with his own weather related expose. However his headline of “Phew what a scorcher – Britain hotter than Iceland.’ Didn’t make it past the editors, and our proprietor realised that mainstream newspaper publishing is clearly more difficult than it at first appears.
