Trump And Dickenson Held In Quarantine As Winton Investigations Continue
2018-04-19
Donald Trump and David Dickenson were being held in quarantine last night following the unexplained death of TV personality, Dale Winton. The pair are being housed at the Sunny Breeze Tanning Emporium and Slot Machine Arcade in Barnsley where authorities have shipped in industrial quantities of Sunny D, Amber Solaire Carrot Oil and Creosote.
The quarantine comes as it emerges that Dickenson and Trump are amongst the last breeding males of a species which were prevalent up until the 1990’s, but their numbers have dwindled dramatically in recent years due to a combination of natural wastage, public health warnings and an outbreak of good taste.
The Bugle understands that Buckingham Palace gigolo Sir David Attenborough has already launched an appeal to save the species. A spokesperson for the appeal said “The situation is serious. Numbers have fallen to dangerous levels and breeding grounds are being decimated with the closure of hundreds of nightclubs. But there is hope. Love Island is coming up again later in the year”
