The Rotherham Bugle

A U.S soldier  who lost his genitals in a war injury has received the world’s first full penis and scrotum transplant.  Surgeons at Baltimore’s John Hopkins University have rebuilt the veteran’s penis and scrotum from the body parts of a deceased donor.

The operation was said to be a success, but a friend of the soldier, who has asked to remain anonymous says he has yet to see the results. “When he first woke up, he was pretty euphoric, but then someone told him about Verne Troyer dying and he started checking the calendar and went white. Let’s just say it’s going to be a tense day when the bandages come off.”

A spokesman for the hospital said. “We don’t comment on donors. Whilst every effort is made to provide as close a match as possible, this is a new procedure, there aren’t a large number of registered penis donors, and beggars can’t be choosers.”