Kate Creates Unrealistic Expectations Of New Mothers, Say Skanks
2018-04-25
The Duchess Of Cambridge created unrealistic and unattainable expectations of new mothers this week, according to scruffy skanks and scummers everywhere. The Duchess who emerged from the Lindo wing of St Mary’s hospital in London on Tuesday after giving birth looking like a regular human being, was roundly criticised by skanky women everywhere, who apparently don’t have access to clean clothing, bathing facilities or a bit of slap.
“Having a baby is hard enough and I think I earned the right to let myself go a bit,” said Tania Minge from Barnsley who openly admits to living in unwashed elasticated tracky bottoms, threadbare slippers and a baggy white vest for weeks following the birth of her daughter Brittney “I only just started washing my hair and shaving my pits last week. This just makes me look bad.”
Deirdrie Taylor-Brown, a parenthood expert, says the situation is far from clear cut. “Strictly speaking, it isn’t really necessary to walk around wearing stuff that make you look like a bag of shite tied in the middle,” she said “You don’t have to have chip fat hair and six weeks growth just because you’ve given birth either. It comes down to personal choice in the end. I’d recommend that anyone who wants to look like The Duchess Of Cambridge, invest in a bottle of shampoo, a stick of lipstick and some Persil extra. It take a few minutes, but it’s not rocket science.”
