As Winnie Mandela, ex-wife of Nelson Mandela, passed away at the age of 81,  it was announced that a local Soweto football team will hold a minutes torture before next weekends game as a mark of respect to the former freedom fighter who had a reputation for a robust approach to achieving her aims.

  Declan Donnelly, one half of star duo Ant & Dec, had cheered up no end last night after seeing his pay packet following Saturday nights solo presenting performance on Saturday Night Takeaway. The diminutive Geordie had previously appeared  emotional and devastated following his presenting partner, Anthony McPartlin’s,  arrest for drink driving and re-admission to rehab.

  A clear class division has emerged between hard of thinking middle class and working class Labour supporters, over which religion or race to hate. Dim-witted middle class Labour voters have been taking to Facebook in increasing numbers to express anti Semitic views, apparently because Jews tend to be more successful than average – which

  The Rotherham Bugle took a day off today as the rest of the world took it’s turn to concoct spurious bollocks in an attempt to entertain, mislead and bewilder. A spokesperson for The Bugle said “it normally falls on us to invent spurious bollocks so it’s nice when everyone else takes their turn, even