‘How Shit Must Your Garden Be For This To Be Better?’, Ask Normal People
2018-05-08
As the mercury rose into the high twenties over the weekend, hundreds of thousands of saddo’s flocked to beaches up and down the country, enduring gazillion mile tail backs along the way. Once there, they paid a fortune to park their cars somewhere in the next town, and trekked through desolate streets to the beach, where they claimed a maximum of eight square feet of sand, surrounded by hordes of other fat sweaty bastards and their annoying offspring. And the question on every sane persons lips was, why?
“How shit does your garden have to be for that to be better?” asked one normal person we spoke to as she sat in a deckchair on her patio with cold beer and wine at arms reach in the kitchen. “I’d rather sit in a darkened room watching old re-runs of Wish You Were Here? than put myself through that.”
We tried to speak to someone on a British beach yesterday, but they were all too busy trying to convince themselves they were having a good time, to give us an interview.
