SuRie Rides Tidal Wave Of Eurovision Sympathy To Surge Through To Third Last
2018-05-13
Britain’s entry in the 2018 Eurovision Song Contest, Storm by SuRie, surged through to an incredible third last place in Lisbon last night. The stellar performance came on the back of a tidal wave of public sympathy across Europe, following a stage invasion during the singer’s performance. It’s the best result for the UK in living memory – and one that has only ever been surpassed by performers who are either currently dead or under police surveillance.
A spokesperson for the UK Eurovision team said, “I know third last looks a bit shit in isolation, but we’re over the moon. It’s usually an opportunity for the rest of Europe to demonstrate how much they hate us and so having some knobsack run on stage during the song was a real gift. We’re thinking of paying someone to do it again next year.”
An analysis of the results suggests that the picture may not be as rosy as the UK team are painting it though. The UK entry only beat Finland, who were represented by that mad bint off X Factor, and Portugal’s entry, which was a homage to Cristiano Ronaldo, bizarrely set to the tune of Rule Britania.
