Hunt For Loch Ness Monster Given Fresh Hope As Man Who Paid Full Price For DFS Sofa Discovered
2018-06-07
The hunt for the Loch Ness monster was given a shot in the arm last night after the apparent discovery of a man who has paid full price for a DFS sofa.
The search for Nessie has occupied the imagination of millions for generations, but with no confirmed sightings or convincing photographic evidence, conventional wisdom has led most towards the conclusion that the monster doesn’t exist.
The parallels between the search for Nessie and the one seeking out a customer purchasing a sofa from DFS outside of the sale, are hard to ignore. And so when a man from Barnsley came forward last night to claim he had purchased a DFS sofa at full price, many in the north of Scotland were forced to sit up and take notice.
“We have a saying around these parts,” said Jock McSporran, a retired Haggis knitter who lives on the banks of the Loch “Y’all ne’r find Nessie while sales on at DFS’ay’. Well if this chappie has paid full price, the sale must have ended sometime.”
Our reporter tried to talk to the man, reportedly from the Wombwell area of Barnsley, but he appears to have gone to ground. Neighbours named him as Ray Black, a 64-year-old retired coal welder. Regular readers will recall that Ray hit the headlines back in 2015 when he was reported to have paid full price to Franklyn Mint for a scale model of Elvis dressed in Lederhosen riding a Rhinestone encrusted unicycle.
