Tennis Crowd Smells Of Middle Class Angst And Prudent Pension Planning New Study Reveals
2018-07-06
A Wimbledon Tennis crowd smells of a blend of middle class angst and prudent pension planning a new study has revealed. The revelation will come as a shock to those who had always followed the traditional line of thinking that it was a heady aromatic cocktail of old fart, Werther’s Originals and the John Lewis Summer Collection.
“It came as a surprise to us too” said Professor Dick Stench from the Institute of Applied Aromatics in Barnsley who headed up the study, “but the whiff of middle class angst overlaid and exacerbated by some very sensible pension planning was unmistakable. Yes, there were undertones of subtle racism and imperialistic nostalgia as well, but that’s a given.”
Buoyed by this unexpected discovery, Professor Stench says his next project will involve the study of a football crowd to see whether there are any aromatic notes to be identified beyond new fart, John Smiths Smoothflow and the Sports Direct discount department.
