Historic Day For Brexit As Public Run Out Of Shits To Give
2018-07-23
Just over two years after the Brexit vote, the last surviving member of the public who gives a shit finally said “Aww bollocks to it” this morning.
It’s all a far cry from June 2016 when the British public were fascinated by leaving the EU and what it might mean. But with millions literally bored to death or simply losing the will to live in the intervening period, and swathes of brain dead voters distracted by Love Island, the number of people giving a shit about the process has dwindled to critical levels. “The continued warm weather and England’s relatively good performance in the World Cup has made inroads in the number of shits to be given as well.” said Professor Pete Hurd from south east Rotherham Insitute of political studies.
The last man to give a shit was Colin Potter from Rotherham “I’ve finally given my last shit,” he said “I don’t have any more shits to give. In fact I’m right out of rats arses as well. I’ll be mainly giving a shit about global warming, world poverty and the imminent appearance of Meghan Markel’s half-sister on Celebrity Big Brother from now on.”
As The Bugle went to press, an urgent appeal launched to raise shits to give had failed to attract a single donation.
