UK Residents Warned Of Oxygen Shortage In Event Of No-Deal On Brexit
2018-08-23
There was widespread panic today as UK residents were warned that there would be a severe shortage of oxygen in the event of no deal being reached on Brexit, rendering most of the population unable to breath, and ultimately dead. Contrary to earlier assumptions that life would carry on pretty much as normal, Brexit Secretary Dominic Raab revealed that a failure to reach some kind of deal on Brexit would render the country virtually uninhabitable.
“You wouldn’t believe the crap that will go down,” he told a packed press conference “Food and medicine will become a thing of the past, water will dry up within a matter of months, and most worrying of all, over 90% of the oxygen supplies which primarily come from mainland Europe, will be inhaled by smirking Frenchmen.”
Appealing for widespread support, Mr Raab went on to make the point that any old bag of shit, half-arsed deal he was able to cobble together, would be better than this doomsday scenario.
