The head of tourism in Venice has slammed visitors to the city, calling them ‘whinging bastards’ after high tide resulted in 75% of the city being left under water. “These people are never satisfied,” said Luigi Plugio as he waded across his second floor  office “Why did they come to Venice if they don’t

  Schools throughout the land were celebrating this morning following chancellor Philip Hammond’s announcement in yesterdays budget of a £400 million increase in education spending to pay for the “little extras” that schools need. “This is wonderful news” one headteacher from Rotherham told us “It means we can put the heating on in winter for

  A new Where are they now?’ style documentary about  1990’s hit band The Spice Girls, is set to go ahead despite Victoria Beckham and Gerry Halliwell pulling out at the last minute. A spokesperson for the pair told The Bugle “After a preliminary meeting Victoria and Gerry realised their lives had taken very different paths, but

  There was widespread relief at  Cuadrilla this evening after it emerged that an earth tremor at the companies drilling site at Little Plumpton in Lancashire, probably wasn’t caused by fracking after all. The Bugle understands that an investigation team from the Oil and Gas Authority has linked  the tremor with the arrival in the area of a coach carrying

Russian secret service officials have sent a message of thanks to their Saudi counterparts this morning after their activities in Istanbul made the Salisbury debacle look like the work of genius. Sergie Bolokov , a spokesman for the Russian Intelligence Agency, told the Bugle “Salisbury was a disaster. When your officers get offered parts in

  The Saudi Arabian government are understood to be reviewing hospitality arrangements at their consulates around the world this morning,  after the treatment of a visitor to their Istanbul facility fell below accepted standards. The visitor was reportedly set upon and killed by staff, before being hacked to pieces and having his body disposed of in an unknown

  Actress Keira Knightley is understood to have written a script for a new version of Cinderella, which she intends to pitch to Disney. The news comes in the wake of an interview this week on the Ellen Degeneres show, in which Knightley said that she had banned her daughter from seeing a number of

  Women’s groups  were celebrating yet another giant leap forward towards full equality this morning after Kleenex announced they have bowed to pressure and  will no longer be branding their tissues ‘Mansized’.  Equality campaigners say the move recognises the fact that women can produce just as much  snot, mucus and general nose gunk as any

  Daniel Craig has turned the tables on all-round arse hole Piers Morgan after the Breakfast TV presenter criiticised Craig for  transporting his baby in a front-mounted papoose, saying it was emasculating. The criticism led to the headline “Piers Morgan Mocks Daniel Craig For Carrying Baby.” “At least I can take the bugger off” the

  The Queen has expressed concern that her next great-grandchild will be ginger after Prince Harry and the Duchess Of Sussex announced that they are expecting their first child next spring. A spokesperson for Buckingham Palace told The Bugle. “Obviously it’s a big concern for everyone. Her Majesty is hopeful that Meghan’s heritage may be