Russian Intelligence Agency To Send Pret A Manger Vouchers To Dissidents
2018-10-09
Following recent botched attempts to kill political opponents and dissidents, The Bugle understands that the Russian Intelligence agency is considering a complete change of tack. In future, targets will simply be mailed discount vouchers for their nearest Pret A Manger.
“Let’s face it, we’re a laughing stock” said one government agent who asked not to be named for fear of being force fed a bacon and avocado panini. “When you’re more likely to meet an untimely end on the premises of a local sandwich emporium than at the hands of highly trained killers, you know things aren’t going well.”
The Bugle understands that this is just one tactic being considered and other plans under consideration include issuing complementary tickets for golf tournaments or in the away end for a Millwall match.
