Snot Equality As Kleenex Put An End To Mansized Tissues
2018-10-18
Women’s groups were celebrating yet another giant leap forward towards full equality this morning after Kleenex announced they have bowed to pressure and will no longer be branding their tissues ‘Mansized’. Equality campaigners say the move recognises the fact that women can produce just as much snot, mucus and general nose gunk as any man, if they set their mind to it.
“I’ve got a schnoz you can see from space and can produce a greater volume of snot than most men” said Barbara Strys-Hand from Barnsley as her two small children took shelter under her nostrils in the rain. “Man-sized is just sexist and I’m pleased Kleenex have seen the light and will be calling the tissues ‘large’. I’ve not been able to buy them before, but now I can.”
As The Bugle went to press, it was unclear with this rebranding is a one off, or whether it will pave the way to some stage in the future when men will be allowed to use a Ladyshave.