Wearing A Poppy Makes You A Much Better Person, New Study Reveals
2018-11-01
People who wear a poppy in the first week of November are far better than those who don’t, a new study has discovered.
Researchers at the Institute of Advanced Virtue Signalling interviewed over seven men and women from a wide range of ages, backgrounds and genders, and the results were conclusive. “There’s no doubt that wearing a poppy makes you a better person” said “Ivor Redun from the Institute “even if you’ve had the same bastard pinned to your winter coat for the last ten years and not parted with a penny. The very act of forgetting to put your poppy on or changing your coat without shifting your poppy over, marks you out as a wrong ‘un.”
The Bugle understands that making a private donation and remembering those killed in combat in your own quiet way is a surefire route to finding yourself ranked somewhere between Jimmy Savile and Adolf Hitler in the regard of your fellow citizens, and you would be well advised to pop 10p into the nearest collection box in return for a shitty bit of red plastic instead.
