The Rotherham Bugle

A Barnsley girl who refuses to let rip on a first date has been branded ‘stuck up’ and ‘snobbish’ by friends and neighbours.

Keely Blower, 21,  from Wombwell says she likes to retain an air of mystique, and therefore refuses to drop an F bomb on a first night out. “I just think you need to ease your way into a relationship  gently” she told the Bugle. “Dropping your guts on the way out of the curry house when you’ve only just met seems wrong. I mean obviously, if he gets one in  first that’s different, but I wouldn’t want to have first blast.”

But Keely’s best mate Tracy Gobble disagrees “She’s a reight  snob,” she said “Start as you mean to go on is what I say,  and I’m always careful to wind the car window down if it’s a good un. I was brought up reight.  I’ve not had any complaints so far and lads round here seem to appreciate it if you can put some serious decibels out.”

For a definitive answer we approached social etiquette experts Debretts’, where  spokesperson Camilla Inbred-Pratt  told us “It’s a difficult one. On the one hand, the animalistic lure of a nicely-matured fart is well-documented and hard to resist, but young ladies should learn not to play their hand too early.”