The Rotherham Bugle

A Rotherham man who says it’s way to early to put up any Christmas decorations thinks it’s just the right time to get totally hammered in celebration of the festive period.

Ray Beer-Monsta, 37,  says that decorations should be banned until the 12th of December, but anytime after the second week in September is appropriate for a heavy festive piss up. “I think we need to think about the true meaning of Christmas and be muted in our celebrations until close to the date that marks the birth of our Lord.” he told The Bugle, “But if ale’s on the agenda, all bets are off.”

True to his beliefs, Ray is going for Christmas drinks this evening with two blokes he briefly bumped into in a bar in  Magaluf in the summer. “I won’t see them again before Christmas, or probably ever again,” he said “but any excuse for a piss up, eh?”