Woman Fails To Find Christmas Card That Accurately Conveys Bitter Contempt For Husband
2018-12-24
A Rotherham woman was left disappointed this morning after shopping for a Christmas card, but failing to find one with a message which truly reflects the way she really feels about her husband
Carol Bagg, 47, from Rawmarsh says she was looking for a card that conveyed a combination of contempt and apathy mixed with periodic bursts of anger, disappointment, and seething resentment, but there was nothing that fitted the bill. “It was all lovey-dovey shite. “she told us “Nothing for people who’ve been married for ever and are barely tolerating each other. I think they’re missing a big gap in the market.”
Carol’s husband, Jim, agrees “I tried to find a card for our old lass and there was nothing suitable,” he said “just sickly garbage about how wonderful and beautiful she is. I can’t send that. Last year I bought a blank card and put ‘You’re twice the woman I married’ in it. She knew what I was getting at but couldn’t prove it. She didn’t talk to me for a week, which was a bonus.”
As the Bugle went to press, neither Carol nor Jim had bought a card and were instead planning to mark the big day by bickering over the washing up and belching and farting their way through a repeat of Mrs Brown’s Boys.
