Corbyn Tables Vote Of No Confidence After Receiving Firm Assurances From DUP
2019-01-16
Labour leader, Jeremy Corbyn, finally tabled a vote of no confidence in Theresa May’s government last night after receiving firm assurances from the DUP that they will side with the government. If successful, the motion would lead to a general election, an event Mr Corbyn is desperate to avoid.
“Jeremy only tabled the motion once he was sure the DUP wouldn’t back it.” said a Labour party insider. “That could have made it too close to call. The last thing we want at this stage is to be thrown in to an election with a genuine chance of winning. Jeremy has trouble sorting out his own gas bill so this whole Brexit thing is way beyond him. He’s doing a good job of telling Theresa May how shit she is without offering any kind of alternative solution, and as long as he sticks to that we’ll be fine.”
It was recently revealed that Arsenal fan Corbyn thought up the now ubiquitous ‘You don’t know what you’re doing’ chant which is now hurled at football referees up and down the country every Saturday. The Labour leader does not have any refereeing qualifications although it’s rumoured he did officiate in an under 7’s game some time in the early 1970’s after the original referee was grounded because he hadn’t done his homework.
