Londoner Thinks ‘The North’ Is Like Coronation Street And Near Scotland
2019-01-23
A Londoner who has never ventured further than the Brent Cross Shopping Centre thinks ‘the North’ is just like Coronation Street, somewhere near Scotland, and takes several days to reach by train.
Nathan Cokni-Wanka says he’s never considered travelling to places like Manchester, Sheffield or York because it would take too long and there’s nothing there anyway. “Why would I want to sit on a train for several days to end up in some third world hell-hole.” he told The Bugle. “I wouldn’t even know whether it’s okay to pat a whippet. They’re just not sophisticated up there like us southerners. I like the finer things in life.”
Nathan, who gets all his information from TV soaps and a lorry driver friend who once broke down near Barnsley, says he’s happy to stay where he is. “I mean, it takes me two hours to get to work every morning, I have to live 10 miles out in a one bed flat that costs me a grand and a half a month, and I nearly got stabbed twice last week, but at least I don’t have to live in the f****** north!”
As The Bugle went to press, Nathan was on the tube. Probably.
