Barnsley council social services department are understood to have received several calls from concerned residents this morning, following the siting of a child in a pushchair, not eating a Greggs pasty out of a bag. Witnesses reported that the child’s mother, described as grossly overweight with chip fat hair and wearing faded leggings and a

Jeremy Corbyn took a break from doing sod all about Brexit this morning, when he called into his local ShitCars R Us dealership to buy a new car. On arrival at the dealership, Mr Corbyn told the salesman that he would be buying something from him today, no matter what. An hour later he was