Barnsley Social Services Called After Child Spotted In Pushchair Without Greggs Pasty
2019-01-25
Barnsley council social services department are understood to have received several calls from concerned residents this morning, following the siting of a child in a pushchair, not eating a Greggs pasty out of a bag. Witnesses reported that the child’s mother, described as grossly overweight with chip fat hair and wearing faded leggings and a food stained T shirt, appeared oblivious to the child’s plight. One onlooker said she was “nonchalantly drinking from a can of Red Bull while smoking a fag as if nothing was happening.”
“It was pitiful to see,” said Carly Cox from Wombwell who also witnessed events from a nearby Wetherspoons where she was attending a family wedding. “The poor child was so emaciated you could practically see his eyes.”
“We take these reports very seriously,” said Tim Dim from the town’s social services department, “although obviously given the description of the mother, we have very little to go on. It will be like finding a needle in a giant haystack.”
As The Bugle went to press, a Just Giving page had raised over £2.50 in an appeal designed to raise enough money to track down the child and provide him with enough essential pastry based snacks until he’s old enough to start stealing his own food.
