Turner Prize Shortlist Made Up Of Talentless Tossers For 31st Year Running
2019-05-01
The organisers of the 2019 Turner Prize played their annual trick on the world’s media this morning, by announcing a shortlist made up entirely of talentless tossers and chancers. The competition, ostensibly aims to challenge the boundaries of art, but a committee insider revealed the truth to our reporter as he watched two greased Moldovian dwarves wrestling in a bin – an entry that just missed out on this years shortlist.
“It’s a complete piss take, and people fall for it every year,” he said. “I don’t know what’s funniest – the tabloid media getting all hot under the collar about how shit it all is, or the pseudo-intellectual dickheads rushing to find meaning in the meaningless. Either way, it’s great publicity.”
Supporters of the competition, point to the fact that great English artist J M W Turner, who the prize is named after, was himself somewhat of a maverick and controversial in his day. “That’s true,” said our insider “a shitty video shot on an iPhone, or Rome, From Mount Aventine, it’s just the same thing isn’t it really?”
As our reporter left Turner Prize HQ, a woman with some paints and a canvas was being quietly ushered out of the building.
