Nation That Was On Winning Side In War 70 Years Ago Bound To Be Good At Selling Shit To Foreigners, Says Cricketer
2019-06-24
A man whose only claim to competence is that he was once able to successfully hit a ball with a piece of wood, has reassured the nation that, because Britain was on the winning side in two world wars, this is perfect preparation for leaving the EU without a deal and forcing the rest of the world to buy our shit.
Former Cricketer Geoffrey Boycott, who was still in short trousers in 1945, is undeterred by the fact that the last of those wars was over 70 years ago, everyone who was involved is either dead or infirm, and that there’s a world of difference between storming a beach in France and persuading someone who has decided, with good reason, that Boris Johnson is a twat, to go to the trouble of negotiating a separate deal and then buy whatever shit we’re selling.
“We’re Yorkshire…I mean English…I mean British and Johnny Foreigner will soon come round to our way of thinking when we remind him how good we are at fighting and that.” said Boycott on Good Morning Britain to a clearly appreciative Piers Morgan. “Did I mention we won two world wars single handed without any help from Lancashire…I mean anyone – not even the Americans. No definitely not the Americans.”
