Grateful Brexiteers are said to be checking out the fees for Eton this weekend following the sterling work carried out by old boys Boris Johnson and Jacob Rees Mogg in putting the state educated plebs in parliament firmly in their place. Terry Towling from Barnsley was typical of working class Brexit supporters who we spoke

The natural order of things was rightfully restored this week as old Etonians,  who were bred to lead, removed power from over 600 jumped up plebs, representatives of the unwashed and uneducated masses. Somewhat surprisingly, this was done with the full support of a significant proportion of the unwashed and uneducated masses. A spokesperson for

A petition launched to award Michelin Star status to a branch of Greggs in Barnsley town centre, has already attracted 27 signatures and over ten thousand X’s, it has emerged. The town doesn’t currently host any eateries recognised by the Michelin organisation and Greggs is seen as the height of haute cuisine, for locals. The

A man who said “You couldn’t make it up” about a comparatively unremarkable series of events on his journey from work. may never have read a book or watched a film it has emerged. Lee Vitout from Barnsley arrived home 38 minutes late last Thursday evening as a result of a number of hold-ups on

Human rights groups were united in outrage this afternoon, when it emerged that tough new sentencing guidelines issued by the Home Office include a week working in Costa Coffee for repeat offenders. New Prime Minister, Boris Johnson,  had warned that sentencing would become more rigorous, but the brutality of the new powers issued to judges,

The Duchess Of Cambridge is reported to be “f****** livid” this morning after being forced to take a scheduled £73  Flybe flight from Norwich to Aberdeen. The choice of transport follows criticism of Prince Harry and wife Meghan, who travelled to the south of France by private jet, but close friends have revealed that Kate

A Barnsley woman has spoken of her relief this afternoon, after it emerged that the ‘Amazon fires’ she’d heard about are restricted to  870 square miles of Brazilian rainforest,  and  the distribution depot in Doncaster, from where she is expecting a delivery of some hair straightners and a chip pan, is totally unaffected. Sheila Dewitt

Unemployed football manager and professional yokel Ian Holloway, has sensationally waded into the Brexit debate by blaming his ridiculous choice of headwear on the EU. Former QPR, Blackpool and Millwall manager Holloway is regularly seen sporting a trendy flat cap and maintains that there is no way he would make such a twat of himself,

Researchers from the University Of South East Mexborough have put a call out today for people who hang their bagged-up dog shit from tree branches, to come forward. Anyone walking in the countryside can’t have failed to notice the neatly tied bags of poo hanging from trees like Christmas baubles. Well now, academics want those

A proposal for a female-only emergency Brexit cabinet, fell apart at the first hurdle this afternoon when two prospective members turned up for a meeting in the same outfit. Caroline Lucas, former leader of The Green Party had put forward the idea of a women’s cross-party emergency cabinet as a way to prevent a no-deal