Trump Urges Walmart To Stock Ready-Loaded AK47’s Following Most Recent Attack
2019-08-04
President Donald Trump has urged retailing giant Walmart to start stocking ready-loaded AK47’s and other assault rifles, following the lone gunman attack on one of their stores in El Paso Texas, which left 20 people dead.
Ignoring pleas for gun control. the president said the answer lies in making sure that shoppers buying their groceries have enough fire power to hand to fight off any would-be attacker. “If there had been plenty of guns and ammo mixed in amongst the fruit and veg this guy would have never made it past the discounted Bagels”, said a clearly frustrated Trump. “If even the kids have got access to heavy duty weaponry, punks like this aint going nowhere. Walmart need to look at how they prioritise their shelf space. It shouldn’t be all about profit from 2 for 1 offers.”
As The Bugle went to press, the president had sent his thoughts and prayers to those involved, the former of which were delivered on the back of a fifty cent postage stamp.
