Downing Street Dog ‘Hasn’t Bothered Unpacking’
2019-09-04
The new Downing Street dog is still living out of boxes, several days after moving into Number 10, it has been reported. The dog took the decision to delay getting settled following a cursory appraisal of his new owners performance in parliament, and the general air of fuckwittery that pervades his very being.
A spokesperson for the dog told The Bugle “It’s not like he’s ungrateful or anything, but at least he had some security of tenure back at the sanctuary. The way he sees things at the moment, it’s really not worth searching out a nice warm spot by a radiator or a favourite pissing place in the back garden. He’s just taking it a day at a time at the moment, but it’s a worrying time for him.”
Meanwhile, Larry the Downing Street cat was fairly relaxed about the situation when our reporter caught up with him as he lovingly licked his own genitals. “Sometimes it’s good not being a dog.” he said “I don’t give a shit who lives there. They all feed me just the same and I get to come and go as I please. For what it’s worth, I think he’s a useless duplicitous twat who doesn’t have a clue what he’s doing, but what do I know. I’m just a cat.”
