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The Rotherham Bugle

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2024-12-21

Archives for December 2019

Boost To Gene Pool Forecast Following Cull Of Boxing Day Shoppers

In what is being hailed as a breakthrough moment in social engineering, specially trained government forces descended on shopping centres throughout the country at 6.00am this morning and began a cull of anyone there by choice. Head of the newly formed Department Of Ethical Eugenics told The Bugle, “Euthenazing anyone standing in a queue outside

Anti-Democracy Protestors Descend On Downing Street

In scenes that even we can’t make up, a bunch of complete tools who don’t appear to know how democracy works are today marching in protest at a government which was duely elected by a substantial majority of the population on Thursday. In a statement heavily coated in both irony and deja vu, a spokesperson

Unexplained Underground Movement Reported In Yorkshire Graveyards

Reports of unexplained underground movement are coming in from graveyards across the former Yorkshire coalfields. The movements, which don’t appear to have anything to do with subsidence, seemed to start just after 10.00pm yesterday evening and then intensified throughout the night.  Peak activity was reported at around 4.00am. Ted Rogers who lives near one of

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